Hugs
-Katie Goloby

The first time you watch someone die,
Even if you saw it coming,
Is nauseating.
Watching a person go from breathing
To not breathing
Just doesn't seem natural.
It hurts in a way you quickly repress,
Because the day has only just begun,
And other patients need you.
You wander zombie-like,
As you continue to process your experience
But nothing seems to work.
Part of you feels so incredibly grateful to be alive,
But part of you feels dead.
You go home to your loved ones
And cry on their shoulder
As you hug them, thankful that you are not
The mother/father/wife/husband/daughter/son/sister/brother
That you had to deliver horrible news to earlier in the day.
And then you look up with tear-stained cheeks
With a request:
"Can we please die at the same time?"
Love them, hold them close
Your family, and those of the patients,
Is how you learn to deal with
Death.